Words to remember you by...

5 years ago today you left us. 5 years? The only five year mark I ever wanted to remember with you was the time we spent together. Seems like yesterday. When I heard you were gone I immediately starting looking for items from our history together. I read letters, went through photos and the memories overwhelmed me. Treasured moments placed in a box to remember an old love. I spent the next five days after you passed trying to find the perfect words to say at your funeral. I must have rewritten the words a hundred times and in the end it didn't matter if it was perfect as long as I could just get through it. Today I wanted to share those words again so that they and your memory will live on. We miss you. Thank you for always watching over me. I can still hear your laugh....

"I am so not good in front of crowds... But Doug was important enough to me to overcome this fear. I remember a marketing class at Ferris that he coached me through to make sure I passed. And of course I did -- got an A. Marketing, Doug could sell anything to anyone. Every thanksgiving my family would play trivial pursuit and Doug and my dad had an argument over the answer and because Doug said that he knew he was right and had that conviction in his voice. Well let's just say that the team of men in my family were not happy when they didn't win the green piece of pie!

Regardless they loved him. My mom and dad both jumped on the Doug train with me and even though 2 years ago I told them to get off -- they constantly thought of and asked if Doug.

That's how he was.

Unforgettable

For 5 years if my life everyone knew me as "dougs" girlfriend. Now I look back and it wasn't such a bad title.

Everyone always asked me about him. My sisters wedding? Everyone remembers not the way my hair looked but that my date breakdanced. A picture of Doug actually made it into the wedding album. He did that everywhere we went. I can feel my eyes roll as I say this.

I could think of a million things about Doug. His smile, smell, favorite movie-- important moments together. But what I really want everyone in this room to know is that they were lucky to know him.

Lucky to hear him talk hockey or almost anything. I want everyone in this room to know that everyday for the past 8 years I have loved him. And that I will continue to be surrounded by his love forever. The connection I shared with Doug as intense and I hope that most of you in this room were able to feel at least a part of your own connection like the one I feel daily.

How amazing was his laugh?

I will never forget the sound. It just consumes me. He would have loved nothing more than to be surrounded by the laughter of all of you. I know that when he checked in on all of us yesterday and today he was thankful to know that each of you were here to show your love for him. Doug was one of those people I never intended on letting go of and now as I stand here I know that I never will. Fixed in my memory as a part of my family and I will miss him so much.

Dougie I will miss you and always know you were loved......"